The use of XML also mitigates concerns
over “network vs. host” byte ordering which is at the root of many
network application bugs.
- RFC 3252: Binary Lexical Octet Ad-hoc Transport(3)
- RFC 3251: Electricity over IP(4)
- RFC 3093: Firewall Enhancement Protocol (FEP)(5)
- RFC 3092: Etymology of “Foo”(6)
- RFC 3091: Pi Digit Generation Protocol(7)
- RFC 2795: The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)(8)
- RFC 2551: The Roman Standards Process — Revision III(9)
- RFC 2550: Y10K and Beyond(10)
- RFC 2549: IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service (11)
- RFC 2325: Definitions of Managed Objects for Drip-Type Heated Beverage Hardware Devices using SMIv2(12)
- RFC 2324: Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0)(13)
- RFC 2323: IETF Identification and Security Guidelines(14)
- RFC 2322: Management of IP numbers by peg-dhcp(15)
- RFC 2321: RITA — The Reliable Internetwork Troubleshooting Agent(16)
- RFC 2100: The Naming of Hosts(17)
- RFC 1927: Suggested Additional MIME Types for Associating Documents(18)
- RFC 1926: An Experimental Encapsulation of IP Datagrams on Top of ATM(19)
- RFC 1925: The Twelve Networking Truths(20)
- RFC 1924: A Compact Representation of IPv6 Addresses(21)
- RFC 1776: The Address is the Message(22)
- RFC 1607: A View From The 21st Century(23)
- RFC 1606: A Historical Perspective On The Usage Of IP Version 9(24)
- RFC 1605: SONET to Sonnet Translation(25)
- RFC 1438: Internet Engineering Task Force Statements Of Boredom (SOBs)(26)
- RFC 1437: The Extension of MIME Content-Types to a New Medium (27)
- RFC 1313: Today’s Programming for KRFC AM 1313 Internet Talk Radio(28)
- RFC 1217: Memo from the Consortium for Slow Commotion Research (CSCR)(29)
-
RFC 1216: Gigabit Network Economics and Paradigm Shifts
(30) - RFC 1149: A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers(31)
- RFC 1097: Telnet subliminal-message option(32)
- RFC 748: TELNET RANDOMLY-LOSE Option(33)
En las siguientes páginas aparecen algunos de los trozos que más me han gustado
de cada RFC. Los hay de mejores y peores, diviertanse.
Cosecha 2002
RFC 3252: Binary Lexical Octet Ad-hoc Transport(3)
Implementación de protocolos IP, TCP y UDP como aplicación XML.
The reformulation of IPv4 was chosen over IPv6 [RFC2460] due to the
wider deployment of IPv4 and the fact that implementing IPv6 as XML
would have exceeded the 1500 byte Ethernet MTU.
RFC 3251: Electricity over IP(4)
While reading this document, at various points the readers may have
the urge to ask questions like, “does this make sense?”, “is this
feasible?,” and “is the author sane?”. The readers must have the
ability to suppress such questions and read on. Other than this, no
specific technical background is required to read this document. In
certain cases (present document included), it may be REQUIRED that
readers have no specific technical background.
VPN: Voltage Protected Network – allows a customer with multiple
sites to receive electricity with negligible voltage fluctuation due
to interference from other customers.
Each packet would deliver electricity to its destination (e.g., a
device with an IP address) on-demand.
Electricity can be routed over the Internet to reach remote places
which presently do not have electricity connections but have only
Internet kiosks (e.g., rural India).
The Discrete Voltage Encoding (DVE) scheme has been specified in ITU
standard G.110/230V [2] to digitize electrical voltages. In essence,
an Electricity Source (ES) such as a generator is connected to a DV
encoder that encodes the voltage and current, and produces a bit
stream. This bit stream can be carried in IP packets to various
destinations (referred to as LERs – Low-voltage Electricity
Receptors) on-demand. At the destination, a DV decoder produces the
right voltage and current based on the received bit stream. It is to
be determined whether the Real-time Transport Protocol (RTP) can be
used for achieving synchronization and end-to-end control. We leave
draft writing opportunities in the RTP area to our friends and
colleagues.
Cosecha 2001
RFC 3093: Firewall Enhancement Protocol (FEP)(5)
El sacrificio de la eficiencia
Protocolo para enviar paquetes UDP y TCP mediante el protocolo HTTP para
evitar problemas con el firewall.
Cada dato de un paquete IP es codificado en ASCII en las cabeceras HTTP.
Hasta puede ser instructivo como ejemplo de lo que nunca se debe hacer.
Algunos fragmentos a destacar:
“This ASCII encoding of the header
fields has many advantages, including human readability, increasing
the debuggability of new applications, and easy logging of packet
information. If this becomes widely adopted, tools like tcpdump will
become obsolete.”
TCP_FlgBts – The TCP Flags, encoded as the set of 5 comma-separated
ASCII strings: [{URG|urg}, {ACK|ack}, {PSH|psh}, {RST|rst},
{SYN|syn}, {FIN|fin}]. Capital letters imply the flag is set,
lowercase means the flag is not set.
IP_Ver – The IP Version number, encoded as an UTF-8 string. The
legitimate values for the string are “four”, “five”, and “six.”
The encapsulation of the fields in the IP header are defined in
this section if the value is “four”, and in section 3.3 if the
value is “six”. Encapsulations for headers with IP_Ver value of
“five” will be developed if the right orders are received.
Encapsulations for headers with the IP_Ver value of “eight” are
empty. Implementations MUST be able to support arbitrary native
languages for these strings.
IP4_TTL – The 8-bit Time-to-Live field, encoded as an UTF-8 string of
the form “X hops to destruction.” Where “X” is the decimal value
-1 of the field. Implementations MUST be able to support
arbitrary languages for this string.
RFC 3092: Etymology of “Foo”(6)
Conociendo a foo, bar y foobar
Definiciones y etimología detallada sobre las variables metasintácticas foo, bar y foobar.
Approximately 212 RFCs, or about 7% of RFCs issued so far, starting
with [RFC269], contain the terms `foo’, `bar’, or `foobar’ used as a
metasyntactic variable without any proper explanation or definition.
When used in connection with `bar’ it is generally traced to the
WW II era Army slang acronym FUBAR (`Fucked Up Beyond All
Repair’), later modified to foobar.
RFC 3091: Pi Digit Generation Protocol(7)
PI IP: Protocolo indispensable para matemáticos
Un servidor del número PI va enviando digitos de pi hasta que el cliente cierra la conexión.
One REQUIRED PIgen service is defined as a stateless TCP service. A
server listens on TCP port 314159. Once a connection is established
the server sends a stream of data, one digit of Pi at at time,
As almost every secure Internet protocol requires a highly accurate
value of Pi in order to function correctly, it is imperative that
clients only use a trusted PIgen server. The imminent collapse of
the Internet is assured if this guideline is not strictly followed.
Cosecha 2000
Una cosecha poco abundate pero de gran calidad.
RFC 2795: The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)(8)
Los monos hackers
Se dice que si sientas un número infinito de monos enfrente de un número inifinito de máquinas
de escribir y les das el tiempo suficiente pueden producir la obra completa de Shakespeare.
Este RFC propone un protocolo para la gestión de los monos. Uno de los grandes problemas que se presentan es que las IPs son finitas y no infinitas como los monos.
This memo describes a protocol suite which supports an infinite
number of monkeys that sit at an infinite number of typewriters in
order to determine when they have either produced the entire works of
William Shakespeare or a good television show. The suite includes
communications and control protocols for monkeys and the
organizations that interact with them.
Groups of monkeys are physically located in Zone Operations
Organizations (ZOOs).
A SIMIAN (Semi-Integrated, Monkey-Interfacing Anthropomorphic Node)
is a device that is physically attached to the monkey. It provides
the communications interface between a monkey and its ZOO.
Cosecha 1999
RFC 2551: The Roman Standards Process — Revision III(9)
Protocolos TCP/IP a la romana
online – Relating to information made available to Rome.
When referenced in this document material is said to be online
when it is retrievable without restriction or undue fee using
standard Roman applications such as anonymous FTP, gopher or
the WWW.
RFC 2550: Y10K and Beyond(10)
El problema del año 10000
The most common fix for the Y2K problem has been to switch to 4-digit
years. This fix covers roughly the next 8,000 years (until the year
9999) by which time, everyone seems convinced that all current
programs will have been retired. This is exactly the faulty logic
and lazy programming practice that led to the current Y2K problem!
RFC 2549: IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service (11)
Extensión al conocido protocolo de IP en portadoras aéreas. Seguramente tuvo su influencia en Bluetooth. Es muy bueno.
The following quality of service levels are available: Concorde,
First, Business, and Coach. Concorde class offers expedited data
delivery. One major benefit to using Avian Carriers is that this is
the only networking technology that earns frequent flyer miles, plus
the Concorde and First classes of service earn 50% bonus miles per
packet. Ostriches are an alternate carrier that have much greater
bulk transfer capability but provide slower delivery, and require the
use of bridges between domains.
Avian carriers normally bypass bridges and tunnels but will seek out
worm hole tunnels. When carrying web traffic, the carriers may
digest the spiders, leaving behind a more compact representation.
The carriers may be confused by mirrors.
NATs are not recommended either — as with many protocols, modifying
the brain-embedded IP addresses is difficult, plus Avian Carriers MAY
eat the NATs.
Multicasting is supported, but requires the implementation of a clone
device.
Agoraphobic carriers are very insecure in operation.
There is ongoing litigation about which is the prior art: carrier or
egg.
Cosecha 1998
RFC 2325: Definitions of Managed Objects for Drip-Type Heated Beverage Hardware Devices using SMIv2(12)
Descripción de la MIB de las máquinas de cafe
The COFFEE POT MIB applies to managed devices that brew, store, and
deliver heated coffee beverages. The COFFEE POT MIB is mandatory for
all systems that have such a hardware port supporting services
managed through some other MIB.
RFC 2324: Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0)(13)
Protocolo de control de cafeteras
The HTCPCP protocol is built on top of HTTP, with the addition of a
few new methods, header fields and return codes. All HTCPCP servers
should be referred to with the “coffee:” URI scheme (Section 4).
Coffee pots heat water using electronic mechanisms, so there is no
fire. Thus, no firewalls are necessary, and firewall control policy
is irrelevant.
418 I’m a teapot
Anyone who gets in between me and my morning coffee should be
insecure.
Unmoderated access to unprotected coffee pots from Internet users
might lead to several kinds of “denial of coffee service” attacks.
The improper use of filtration devices might admit trojan grounds.
Filtration is not a good virus protection method.
RFC 2323: IETF Identification and Security Guidelines(14)
Seguridad de barbudos
Apart from ZZ-Top and WWF Wrestling, it is not
possible to find more facial hair within any occupational group. In
this author’s own experience the average amount of men with long-term
facial hair is less than 20%.
Another story –jon. told me is that once a woman called looking for
a computer researcher but only having a first name and physical
description. The receiptionist asked for the description and the
woman said she was looking for an older Caucasian man with a beard.
The receptionist reportedly blurted out, “they all have beards!!!!”
RFC 2322: Management of IP numbers by peg-dhcp(15)
Asignación dinámica de IPs
The optimum location for the peg is clipped to the network cable near
the NIC of the device needing an IP-number allocated. This ensures a
clear visual connection between the device and the IP-number
allocated and makes it an easy task to see which IP-number is
allocated.
Transfer of the IP information from the peg and the additional
vendorfield paper note to the settings in the IP stack is done by
human transfer. A person reads the information from the peg and from
the additional information and enters this in the configuration of
the used IP stack. This transfer is not completely free of
corruption of the information or loss of the information contained on
the peg.
RFC 2321: RITA — The Reliable Internetwork Troubleshooting Agent(16)
Innovadoras metodologías para resolución de problemas
Networks where the root bridge for a world-wide bridged
network is suboptimally located, such as under the desk of a
secretary who kicks off her shoes when she arrives in the
morning.
A typical RITA is 51.25 cm long and yellow-orange in color. Either
natural or artificial substances may be used for construction. RITA
has very flexible characteristics, and thus can interoperate within
fairly broad parameters.
Cosecha 1997
RFC 2100: The Naming of Hosts(17)
Una poesía sobre como poner nombres a los ordenadores
Security issues are not discussed in this memo.
Particularly the cardiac security of certain famous poets.
Cosecha 1996
RFC 1924: A Compact Representation of IPv6 Addresses(21)
Como representar direcciones IPv6 de una manera más compacta
Many current processors do not find 128 bit integer arithmetic, as
required for this technique, a trivial operation. This is not
considered a serious drawback in the representation, but a flaw of
the processor designs.
RFC 1925: The Twelve Networking Truths(20)
Una docena de verdades sobre redes, algunas muy buenas y divertidas sin dejar de ser ciertas
(2) No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority,
you can’t increase the speed of light.
(2a) (corollary). No matter how hard you try, you can’t make a
baby in much less than 9 months. Trying to speed this up
*might* make it slower, but it won’t make it happen any
quicker.
(3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is
not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they
are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them
as they fly overhead.
(12) In protocol design, perfection has been reached not when there
is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take
away.
RFC 1926: An Experimental Encapsulation of IP Datagrams on Top of ATM(19)
Transmisión de paquetes IP wireless por medios acústicos
This RFC describes a method of encapsulating IP datagrams on top of
Acoustical Transmission Media (ATM). This is a non-recommended
standard. Distribution of this memo is unnecessary.
RFC 1927: Suggested Additional MIME Types for Associating Documents(18)
Proposición de tipos MIME adicionales para grapas y clips
3) each paper clip should keep track of how many times it has
been bent. Above a certain limit, the clip should fail.
Cosecha 1995
RFC 1776: The Address is the Message(22)
El destinatario es más importante que el mensaje en si
Declaring that the address is the message, the IPng WG has selected a
packet format which includes 1696 bytes of address space. This
length is a multiple of 53 and is completely compatible with ATM
architecture. Observing that it’s not what you know but who you
know, the IPng focused on choosing an addressing scheme that makes it
possible to talk to everyone while dispensing with the irrelevant
overhead of actually having to say anything.
Cosecha 1994
RFC 1605: SONET to Sonnet Translation(25)
SONET con sonetos del mismisimo William Shakespeare
It is critical in this translation scheme to maintain consistent
timing within a frame. If SONET frames or converted sonnets shift in
time, the SONET pointers, or worse, poetic meter, may suffer.
RFC 1606: A Historical Perspective On The Usage Of IP Version 9(24)
En IPv9 todo tiene una dirección IP
Whilst there are still many addresses unallocated the available space
has been sharply decreased. The discovery of intelligent life on
other solar systems with the parallel discovery of a faster-than-
light transport stack is the main cause.
Those who do not study history, are doomed to repeat it.
RFC 1607: A View From The 21st Century(23)
Varios emails del futuro comentando los cambios y nuestro presente
The letters below were discovered in September 1993 in a reverse
time-capsule apparently sent from 2023.
Cosecha 1993
RFC 1437: The Extension of MIME Content-Types to a New Medium (27)
Trata sobre el envio de formas de vida por email.
En caso de implementarse este RFC vamos a necesitar antivirus más sofisticados.
The syntax must be extensible to allow for the description of
all yet-undiscovered aspects of life forms which will be required
for the transport of non-human species (e.g. dolphins, Klingons,
or politicians).
The syntax of the new content-type is very simple, and indeed makes
considerable sacrifice of efficiency in the interest of simplicity.
It is assumed to describe a three-dimensional rectangular solid, with
the height, width, and depth (calibrated in centimeters) specified as
parameters on the content-type line. (In general, this should be a
cube that completely contains the life form being transported; but,
where high bandwidth is not available, a somewhat smaller cube can be
used, provided that facilities are known to be available at the
recipient’s end to administer the medical first aid that could be
necessary if an individual is reconstituted sans some of its
extremities.)
However, real-world X.400 gateways might be considered to
significantly increase the hazard that mail containing a human being
will be rejected with a message so cryptic that the recipient deletes
it without ever realizing that an embedded human being is enclosed.
More importantly, for the first
time management may be motivated to adequately fund such systems when
they discover the possibility that proper email backup may confer
upon them virtual immortality. (On the other hand, implementors
should seriously consider the desirability of making their managers
immortal.)
Security considerations are not discussed in this memo. However, law
enforcement officials might wish to consider the possibility that
this mechanism could be used by criminals, either to escape
extradition by mailing themselves outside of a legal jurisdiction, or
to outwait the statute of limitations by mailing themselves through
complex mail routes with long delays.
RFC 1438: Internet Engineering Task Force Statements Of Boredom (SOBs)(26)
Sobre los RFCs aburridos
However, once everyone has
approved the document by falling asleep over it, the process ends and
the document is discarded.
Cosecha 1992
RFC 1313: Today’s Programming for KRFC AM 1313 Internet Talk Radio(28)
Programación en radio Internet KRFC
Hi and welcome to KRFC Internet Talk Radio, your place on the AM dial
for lively talk and just-breaking news on internetworking. Sponsored
by the Internet Society, KRFC serves the San Francisco Bay Area. For
those of you outside the Bay Area, copies of program transcripts can
be anonymously FTPed from archives.krfc.com the day after the
program, or you can listen in via vat.
Phil’s special guest today is Dr. David Mills, who will explain the
special problems of correcting for the Doppler effect when trying to
properly synchronize the new WWV receiver chip in your PC while
flying on the Concorde.
Cosecha 1991
RFC 1216: Gigabit Network Economics and Paradigm Shifts
(30)
Redes de velocidad ultra baja
“Bad news travel fast.”
Therefore, ULS gives preferential treatment to good news. While this
will delay the delivery of bills, notices from timeshare
condominiums, and contest announcements, it will also produce
immediate productivity gains on several mailing lists.
RFC 1217: Memo from the Consortium for Slow Commotion Research (CSCR)(29)
Aplicaciones militares
An
alternative acoustic source is to use M1A1 main battle tanks firing
150 mm H.E. ordnance. It is proposed to conduct tests of this method
in the Persian Gulf during the summer of 1991.
Cosecha 1990
RFC 1149: A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers(31)
El envio de paquetes IP por avian carriers
Avian carriers can provide high delay, low throughput, and low
altitude service. The carriers have an intrinsic collision avoidance
system, which increases availability.
The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in
hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff.
The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier.
A band of duct tape is used to secure the datagram’s edges. The
bandwidth is limited to the leg length. The MTU is variable, and
paradoxically, generally increases with increased carrier age. A
typical MTU is 256 milligrams. Some datagram padding may be needed.
Multiple types of service can be provided with a prioritized pecking
order. An additional property is built-in worm detection and
eradication. Because IP only guarantees best effort delivery, loss
of a carrier can be tolerated. With time, the carriers are selfregenerating.
While broadcasting is not specified, storms can cause
data loss. There is persistent delivery retry, until the carrier
drops.
Cosecha 1989
RFC 1097: Telnet subliminal-message option(32)
Mensajes subliminales en el protocolo telnet
Frequently the use of “Message of the day” banners and newsletters is
insufficient to convince stubborn users to upgrade to the latest
version of telnet. Some users will use the same outdated version for
years. I ran across this problem trying to convince people to use
the REMOTE-FLOW-CONTROL Telnet option. These users need to be gently
“persuaded”.
A version is currently under development at CMU to display the
message using morse-code over the keyboard caps-lock LED.
Cosecha 1978
RFC 748: TELNET RANDOMLY-LOSE Option(33)
The normal mode does not allow random lossage; therefore the system
is not allowed to crash, mung user files, etc. If the server wants
to provide random lossage, it must first ask for permission from the
user by sending IAC WILL RANDOMLY-LOSE.
Since this is implemented as a TELNET option, it is expected that
servers which do not implement this option will not randomly lose;
ie, they will provide 100% reliable uptime.
Por último aunque este artículo está basado principalmente en los RFCs, tambien
hay otros ejemplos famosos de humor hacker. Algunos ejemplos adicionales son:
- Lenguaje INTERCAL(34)
- Write Only Memory(35)
- Quantum bogodynamics(36)
- Magic smoke(37)
- Computron(38)
- Retrato de un hacker(39)
- La ley de Murphy(40)
Eso es todo 🙂Lista de enlaces de este artículo:
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